Dear Langtham
my little friend
not so little anymore
you must be around ten years now.
Nine years now
since I was on your land
your home, I visited
my wheelchair, you saw
fascinated by it
you stood holding onto it.
That moment of time
the meeting of our lives
my heart has framed
framed still upon my bedside table.
Nine years now
maybe I should make it ten
wait and next year pen
write again
but life is not well-rounded
rounded out
doesn’t flatly pave itself out.
You don’t fit in a box
in any box
edges too straight
angles too right.
Boxes can only hold the concrete.
People, transcendent, translucent
through cardboard they seep.
You are transcendent
but you are not limitless.
I am not limitless.
You and I
curtailed by
restrictions our entire lives.
The preaching
you can do anything
is like sandpapering
my skin, the sting
rubbed raw
against reality
of disability.
My passion, creativity
and my physical capacity
incompatibility
Rubbed raw.
The words that flow from my mind
find resistance through fingers that don’t flutter along keys.
They stub keys.
Fingers through which words must squeeze
to grace screen
must audition
for selection
for expression
within my physical capacity
it’s incompatibility
with my passion, creativity.
Rubbed raw.
May you stretch out your fingers, your toes
fill the entirety of your space.
May you reach your own height
your depth
your width
push to your edges
press to your edges.
Your edges.
Not that which somebody else specifies.
My little friend
I wonder how you are now.
Are you in school now?
School splits open possibilities
breaks open opportunities.
School for me was not easy
and for you it may not be easy.
People can be cruel
or just unintentional.
Unintentionality can leave people behind.
I was left behind
never really one of them
never cool
never in.
Electric wheelchair, insufficient at highest speed
Amongst quick paced feet.
They took the steps
I took the ramps
the long way around.
So many conversations I never heard
conversations that bond friends.
Friends, sometimes one or two is enough.
May you know what it is to be known
to be seen
to be loved.
May you know
see
love.
May you find the divine
within corners of your mind
within the mundane
within your being
within your flesh
for he is in your being
in your flesh.
He holds your space
For you to hold
to expand within
to dance within.
So expand your chest
with your breath
stretch out your fingers, your toes
fill the entirety of your space.
